Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star

9 Oct

Title: Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star
Year: 
2011
Director: 
Tom Brady
Writers: Adam Sandler, Allen Covert and Nick Swardson
Starring: 
Nick Swardson, Christina Ricci, Don Johnson, Stephen Dorff, Kevin Nealon
MPAA Rating: 
R, pervasive crude sexual content, language and some nudity
Runtime: 
97 min
Major Awards: –

IMDb Rating: 
2.1
Rotten Tomatoes: 
0%

 

No I didn’t make a mistake writing that number up there, this film honestly got a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, not a single mildly positive review out of the 32 counted and a horrible 1.6 average rating, it basically meant that Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star was really a tremendously crappy movie and there was virtually no chance of me liking even it a little bit. I had to watch it though, I had to see why it was that no critic listed on Rotten Tomatoes who had seen it had liked it, and well, it became pretty evident as soon as it started. It’s a remarkably stupid comedy that relies on one single gag and it can’t even deliver that one even half decently and its ninety-seven minutes feel like three hours by the time it’s done. Now, I hated this film like apparently everyone else did, and I’ll obviously give it a failing grade but, that being said, I have a feeling I didn’t hate it as much as others have.

I mean, I hated it, don’t get me wrong, this is a horrible exercise in filmmaking that shouldn’t have existed in any sort of iteration, but I just won’t name it as the worst film of the year. This is a movie that tells the story of a small-town boy from Iowa who has grown-up leading a sheltered life, haven’t ever seen a convertible or heard about sushi, and has this horribly stupid haircut and big buck teeth to boot. And as dreamers from small-towns sometimes do, and inspired when he learns that his parents had worked in the business, he heads off to Hollywood to become a porn star. Yes, that’s what this film is actually about, and Nick Swardson who plays the titular character seems like he thinks he’s making a good movie, I mean he goes at it with such stupid energy that you have to believe that he actually thought this movie, which he also wrote (alongside Adam Sandler and Allen Covert), was something worth making, not to mention that he actually got pissed about the lousy reception and went ahead and said that the critics are a bunch of morons for being like that towards his film. No, they’re not, they’re just pissed about you having made them lose an hour and a half of their lives and they’re trying to prevent others form suffering the same fate.

This is horrible, every actor in this one should be just horribly ashamed of being in a film like this, seriously. And that sucks considering that there are some people here who I like, I mean Stephen Dorff is here and he was in Sofia Coppola’s Somewhere (which I gave a perfect A+ to) last year, and then there’s Christina Ricci who I really like and I will have to see later tonight on ABC’s Pan Am (which I’m kind of liking so far) knowing that I just saw her degrade herself terribly in this film as Bucky’s love interest, the most thankless role in this crappy affair. She plays this girl who apparently dreams of becoming a big-time waitress or whatever, I mean, seriously, not to mention that Ms. Ricci plays her as if she was in a drama about a girl and her dreams and not another childish comedy from Adam Sandler’s Happy Madison production company. Such a pity.

Bucky is this kind of overgrown little kid, who tries to make it into the porn industry without having had any sort of sexual experience in his life, not to mention any sort of understanding of the entertainment industry or even some of the slang people use, and yet he thinks it’s his destiny, but he’s just a kid in a grown-up body really, and that makes the fact that he’s trying to become a porn star and embark in a seriously relationship with a woman a tad creepy. But anyways, it just so happens that Bucky isn’t particularly well-endowed and, contrary to what you may think, it’s precisely this that makes him a star because apparently watching him makes regular guys feel better about themselves. Yes, that’s honestly the road this film chooses to take, I’m telling you it’s horribly stupid.

If you like the average Happy Madison production maybe Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star may have something for you to enjoy at least mildly, because it follows the overused formula of the studio of a silly manchild with a stupid accent and an even dumber haircut, and it tries to give us childish slapstick comedy grounded on a single punchline that grows old after the initial five minutes while trying to make us feel for the character at the same time. The film fails at every single one of its aims, horribly, but again, I think I didn’t hate it as much as many of the critics who have seen it because I kind of get the point of the rant Mr. Swardson gave after seeing the disgusting reception the film got, even though he said because he was obviously hurt and bitter about it, but it’s true that this film wasn’t screened to the critics for a reason, it’s no excuse for producing such a shitty movie, but still, it’s not like I was its target audience.

Grade: D+

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