Tag Archives: Bette Midler

[Review] – Parental Guidance

7 Jan

Parental Guidance

Title: Parental Guidance
Year: 2012
Director: Andy Fickman
Writers: Lisa Addario and Joe Syracuse
Starring: Billy Crystal, Bette Midler, Marisa Tomei, Tom Everett Scott, Bailee Madison
MPAA Rating: PG, some rude humor
Runtime: 104 min
IMDb Rating: 5.8
Rotten Tomatoes: 19%
Metacritic: 37

Parental Guidance is the kind of movie that just shouldn’t really exist. During December when some of the very best films of the year are being released to vie for some awards attention we sometimes get stuff like this, family movies that are just absolutely horrible and that, like is also the case with this one, still manage to make a nice buck. Plus, no disrespect to them, but Billy Crystal and Bette Midler shouldn’t be the headliners of a movie in this decade.

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Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore

5 Aug

Title: Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore
Year: 2010
Director: Brad Peyton
Writers: Ron J. Friedman and Steve Bencich, based on the characters by John Requa and Glenn Ficarra
Starring: Bette Midler, James Marsden, Christina Applegate, Katt Williams, Michael Clarke Duncan, Neil Patrick Harris, Sean Hayes, Nick Nolte, Joe Pantoliano, Chris O’Donnell, Jack McBrayer, Fred Armisen, Paul Rodriguez
MPAA Rating: PG, animal action and humor
Runtime: 82 min
Major Awards:
IMDb Rating: 2.0
Rotten Tomatoes: 15%

I’ll be quite brief about the nonsensical film that Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore was, because, really, it warrants not a lengthy explanation or analysis, this is a sequel from a mediocre-but-at-least-commercially-successful film from a decade ago, the difference is that back then animated talking animals were cute and fun, now they look completely moronic and unnecessary, and this sequel really is unnecessary, and I cannot fathom why studio executives would force this upon us. The good news though, is that, if you’re going to watch it, it’s less than an hour and a half long, so you don’t have to suffer through it for a long time.

This one tries to be fun, tries to be funny, but it’s just boring and seriously unfunny, I mean seriously, this may have been fun ten years ago, and even then I didn’t love the original film, but now the notion that our pets actually lead double lives has been spent entirely, and the spy-themed kid movies are usually complete rubbish, so this one really had no shot at being good in the first place. The premise that first film introduced was the one that cats and dogs, infamous so-called enemies among pets, were in a huge battle, unbeknownst to humans, to achieve total pet domination of the world, this one continues that notion but focussing more on the animals and less on the humans.

I guess the only thing commendable about Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore is that it manages to employ every single cliché it possibly could have, and it sucks while doing so, big-time. There are countless references to spy films other than the obvious James Bond namecheck from the title, and they are all completely dumb, because this is seriously a dumb film, and I won’t fail it as badly as I probably should because I imagine some kids will like it, I can’t fathom why, but I guess some will, even though, it must be said, kids are getting smarter with their movie choices nowadays, especially when you consider recent offerings like the amazing Despicable Me.

I won’t even go through the trouble of explaining the plot, it’s far worse than the plot for the first one was, and it’s only there to enable a series of jokes and gags about pets that we’ve heard way too many times by now, add that to the fact that… actually, you know what, I won’t continue, it’s not worth it, you know what this movie will be like before you go see it, I shouldn’t tell you not to, it’s your choice, I just hope you’re smart, and by smart I mean I hope you avoid this at all costs. And the reason why I’m giving this a ‘high’ failing grade is because it was so short, it really was painless, and because, as I said, maybe some kids will like it, and this film was obviously only made for them.

Grade: D+